The Spurian Spectator

Interview with Murdach
Greolin

Greetings Spurians. As you may or may not know I have recently taken over the fun of doing interviews for the Spectator. I decided to start off by interviewing the most important Spurian there is, but since I can't interview myself I chose the most interesting. For my first interview as a member of the Spectator team I had the honor of speaking with the most confusing yet interesting adventurer, Murdach the Flerian. After trying, and failing, to track him down, I was shocked to find my pipe decided to have a conversation with me all by itself. Then in a blinding flash of white scarf I was in the presence of Murdach. After a brief bout of astonishment on my part, I led him to my office, which coincidentally is an exact replica of the Rose Eternal Tavern.

Greolin says, "Lovely office, doncha think"

Murdach says, "Rather reminds me of a tavern."

Murdach exclaims, "But yes, quite remarkable! You even have all these people who pretend to be drinking working for you!"

Greolin says, "Yeah well I am a Drag-al ya know"

Murdach asks, "Did I ever tell you about the time I went to Penthania and the High Magus had a fake court?"

Greolin says, "No you didn't"

Greolin says, "Do tell"

Murdach says, "It was a lot like this, but it wasn't, and he was there, with other people, but it wasn't a tavern it was a court, and they did everything like it was real to make people think it was, but you see, it wasn't."

Murdach says, "So, because it wasn't real, he tricked people into thinking it was, and he was really really good at making real seem really real, but it wasn't real at all."

Greolin says to Murdach, "I think I am gonna need a drink before we get any further"

Murdach says, "And they got paid to sit there and argue and everything, they even made fake laws and stuff, was pretty interesting until they threw me out for interrupting, apparently I wasn't supposed to remind them that they get to vote on things."

Murdach says, "Yes yes, drink away."

Greolin says, "Ok now then "

Greolin says, "Sorry about that"

Murdach exclaims, "Quite alright my good man!"

Greolin says to Murdach, "Mighty sneaky of him fooling all those people into thinking his court was real"

Murdach asks, "Who?"

Greolin says, "errm"

Greolin asks, "The high Magus of Penthania?"

Murdach asks Greolin, "You know someone who fakes a court? Does the judge mind? How does the jury decide? How many times have you been? Do they have to swear to tell the truth all the time?"

Murdach asks, "Why would the High Magus of Penthania have to go to court?"

Murdach asks, "Did he do something wrong?"

Greolin says, "Not that I know of"

Greolin asks Murdach, "Just out of curiosity how did you make my pipe talk to me back there?"

Murdach asks, "What pipe? Does it talk? Can I see it? Do you think it will talk to me? Does it sing? What songs does it know?"

Greolin says, "Hrrrm "

Murdach says, "I imagine it knows the Ballad of Murdach, every Bard does, I'm quite famous you know, a world famous adventurer, I've saved the world a few times, though I had help, just don't tell anyone that, the stories all say I did it alone."

Murdach asks, "Do you like Flerian cuisine?"

Greolin asks Murdach, "Is there any Ale involved?"

Murdach says, "I wouldn't know, we Flerians have never tried our own cuisine."

Greolin asks Murdach, "You say you've saved the world..several times...mind sharin with me what from?"

Murdach says, "You see, in Flerian society, we let one another borrow everything, so we never keep anything long enough to make big fancy meals like that, I was hoping you had tried it, we're all quite curious."

Greolin says to Murdach, "I could see where one might start to wonder"

Murdach says to Greolin, "Well once I told everyone the Lords of Chaos were coming, and I "accidentally" started a flood, but that wasn't my fault, and no one can prove it, except poor Timmy..."

Greolin asks Murdach, "Who is Timmy?"

Murdach says, "But back to the story, anyway, Aiena was going to go kill everyone, but she didn't, cause the flood washed away her armies. So some evil Muat fellow came over and tried to kill everyone cause he hates his brother in law, but he couldn't do it either."

Murdach says, "Cause he beat the city, but he didn't do it right, so he beat only the walls and not the people. And the people beat him, not literally, the walls didn't beat him or anything, but they did mentally, like saying so, but not really, kind of, yes."

Murdach says, "Timmy is my poor little brother, he was killed when a cart ran him over, mother never did recover from the tragic accident."

Greolin asks Murdach, "So how would he be able to prove you caused the flood?"

Murdach asks, "What flood? If I caused a flood I would have drowned wouldn't I!"

Greolin asks Murdach, "Are you sure you haven't?"

Murdach asks Greolin, "Oh quite, unless I drowned, that would be quite interesting. Have you ever drowned before?"

Murdach says to Greolin, "I understand what it feels like, if I did drown, I wonder if I would remember, maybe I drowned and can't remember, I could have drowned hundreds of times and wouldn't know."

Murdach asks Greolin, "I suppose asking you if you've ever drowned wouldn't work then would it, since you wouldn't remember and all?"

Greolin says to Murdach, "No I guess it wouldn't"

Greolin says to Murdach, "Umm you were telling me how you saved the world I think."

Murdach exclaims to Greolin, "I say! Your office is a busy place"

Greolin says to Murdach, Well I have to make it look like it's really a tavern"

Murdach says, "Oh yes, the world, you know I did it many times, quite a few in fact, the world owes me a lot of favors, but I'll be nice and not cash them in."

Murdach exclaims to Greolin, "Fine actors, my compliments!"

Murdach exclaims, "Oh you're quite welcome!"

Greolin says to Murdach, "If we're lucky these won't be the ones that pretend to throw up on us"

Murdach says to Greolin, "And they're polite too."

Murdach exclaims to Greolin, "I have to admit, the Arachnian looks especially realistic, all smelly, stumbling about, snarling and drooling on itself and such. I couldn't have come up with a better worthless scum of the sewers if I tried!"

Greolin says to Murdach, "Why thanks I only get the best for my office"

Murdach says to Greolin, "Quite obviously."

Murdach says to Greolin, "Your office, I believe."

Greolin says to Murdach, "Yes I believe we are in my office"

Greolin says to Murdach, "Don't encourage him he'll ask for a raise"

Murdach leaned on me and whispered, "He's so good he thinks I speak his language!"

Greolin asks Murdach, "So is being a world renowned adventurer alot of work?"

Murdach exclaims, "Oh now and then, though it's all worth the fun, nothing greater in this world than an adventure!"

Greolin says to Murdach, "I'll drink to that"

Murdach says, "Why just today, I got to visit the underworld...You see, I came to some sort of meeting in a temple to deliver some sort of message to a Hithual chap, and I found myself dead as a doornail, though I'm not quite sure how yet."

Murdach exclaims, "Regardless, there I was, looking at my own corpse!"

Greolin says to Murdach, "Maybe you drowned"

Murdach exclaims, "And zooom! In came these underworld beasts and carried me off with them to visit, was quite an interesting adventure, a lovely place, rivers of blood and such, I plan to vacation again soon!"

Murdach says to Greolin, "No I doubt it, I wouldn't remember if I did."

Greolin says to Murdach, "Good point"

Greolin says to Murdach, "Sounds like an interesting vacation spot."

Murdach exclaims, "Rather exciting yes!"

Murdach exclaims, "People being tortured all around, the background noise isn't the greatest, but the view's wonderful! All kinds of people on all sorts of adventures down there, just find a friend and join them!"

Greolin says to Murdach, "You never did finish telling me how you saved the world"

Murdach says, "Why they even let me help torture some evil person, for the good of the world I assure you, they were very bad, I think they said a curse word once."

Murdach asks Greolin, "Which time?"

Greolin says to Murdach, "I think you were telling me about the Muat who beat on the walls"

Murdach asks, "Why would a Muat do that?"

Greolin says, "I think he hated his brother in law"

Murdach asks, "Seems kind of silly doesn't it? I mean they live a long time, you'd think he knew better."

Murdach says, "I imagine having a brother in law is frustrating, I wouldn't know, as poor Timmy fell down a well at the young age of two, and all hopes of the Dookem family growing beyond me were dashed."

Murdach exclaims, "Down a well, he fell, he tripped over his own feet and sploosh! Down he went."

Murdach says, "I suppose he probably doesn't remember it, since he drowned."

Greolin says to Murdach, "Probably would have to ask him to find out"

Murdach says, "Mother was crushed, she's never been the same since, always walks out the door every morning and kicks a chicken for him, we're not sure why, but she's an odd old bird."

Murdach asks Greolin, "Do you suppose I should die again and look for him in the underworld?"

Murdach exclaims, "I say! That would be quite an adventure, the great search for Timmy!"

Greolin says to Murdach, "Yes would be interesting"

Murdach says, "Though an Arachnian offered to eat me today, I think that would be quite a bit more exciting, perhaps after I get eaten maybe then I'll go find Timmy, I could put two adventures into one."

Greolin says to Murdach, "I would think you'd enjoy them less that way"

Greolin says to Murdach, "Combining them instead of giving them each their own adventure"

Murdach says, "Good point chap, perhaps I'll have to spread them out."

Murdach exclaims, "I suppose that would leave me time to be digested too! What an interesting experience that would be!"

Greolin says to Murdach, "Yes that would be quite an adventure"

Greolin asks Murdach, "Do adventurers like you get tired?"

Murdach exclaims, "Not yet! I imagine some do, but they aren't as famous as me."

Greolin says to Murdach, "Well most of them haven't saved the world"

Murdach says, "I suppose not no, takes a lot out of you, it's not just for any old adventurer."

Greolin asks Murdach, "Have time to tell me about an adventure of yours?"

Murdach asks, "Anything in particular you're interested in?"

Murdach asks, "Knights, Dragons, Demons, Heroes, Villains, Small children?"

Greolin asks, "Anything about Damsel's in distress?"

Murdach exclaims, "I've a few of those!"

Greolin exclaims to Murdach, "Great!"

Murdach says, "Let's see.."

Greolin says, "Preferably Drag-al Damsels but if you don't have any of those..."

Murdach asks, "The Queen of Quiloth? No no, that's not much of a story...The Lady Lavel and Sir Gahlan? A bit too romantic..."

Murdach exclaims, "I've the perfect one!"

Murdach asks Greolin, "Where was I? Ahh yes, the daring rescue of the Maiden of Madlehorn!"

Murdach says, "In the far away Kingdom of Volance, there lived a tyrant the likes of which few in the world know. A Frontacian, whose lust for power matched few others ever known to this world."

Murdach says, "And the only thing that outmatched his lust for power, was his lust for beautiful women, especially those of the Drag-al race, who he found the most flamboyant and intriguing."

Greolin says, "But of course"

Murdach says, "The Tyrants name was Seliron the Terrible, and his kingdom was vast, covering the lands of the once neighboring Madlehorn."

Murdach says, "The rightful heir to the throne of Madlehorn, the Lady Fransisca, a most stunningly attractive Drag-alless, had been missing for three years, and until her return, her kingdom was powerless to stand against Seliron."

Greolin asks Murdach, "So it was a Drag-al Kingdom?"

Murdach says, "Now, at this time, there was a wandering band of performers who traveled the world, known as the Second Fiddle Players, who to this day are perhaps the most well known traveling performers in history."

Murdach exclaims to Greolin, "So it was!"

Murdach exclaims, "Not only did the Second Fiddlers play instruments, they carried with them an army of performers, ranging from acrobats and bards, mages and illusionists, even deadly animals!"

Murdach says, "Knowing little of the situation in Madlehorn, the Second Fiddle Players traveled there, assuming they would be treated as royal guests, as they were in all other places they came."

Murdach exclaims, "But here, it was not so, they were met on the borders and ordered by Seliron's troops to turn back and never return, lest their heads be removed and placed on pikes at the borders to ward off all intruders!"

Murdach says, "The Players, as they are known for short, were run by an enterprising group of Drag-al's, who, like most Drag-al's, feel an urge at all times to take things just a bit over the edge, to try and see the response."

Murdach exclaims, "And of course, no Drag-al in this world would turn down the chance to make the kind of money available in a kingdom where such joyous fun was outlawed!"

Greolin exclaims to Murdach, "Why they would have the market cornered!!"

Murdach says, "So in the middle of the eve, with their veritable army of performers, the Players snuck into the kingdom and hid deep in the forests."

Murdach exclaims to Greolin, "So they would indeed!"

Murdach says, "Months, many shows, and even more profit later, the Players were preparing to leave when their leader, the brilliant and cunning Rashem Danee heard in a local tavern the tale of the beauty of the great Fransisca, and tales of her horrible disappearance."

Murdach exclaims, "He vowed then and there (over ten mugs of ale and five glasses of wine) to free the beautiful Lady and bring her home with him to be his wife!"

Murdach says, "He sent the Players on their way to the next kingdom, but stayed on, to seek out and find the fabled beauty which he could not live without."

Murdach exclaims, "Years (and many ales) later, he finally stumbled upon a clue!"

Murdach says, "Just before the good Lady's disappearance, Seliron, the Tyrant, had visited her in her families castle."

Murdach says, "He left the next morning under cover of darkness, she was pronounced missing a week later, though none ever tied together the two events."

Murdach says, "With nothing but his hands, a bit of determination (lots of ale), and his stricken heart, Rashem climbed the mighty spires and peaks, battled giants, ogres, and trolls, nearly froze to death at night and was nearly cooked alive in the day."

Murdach says, "But somehow he made it to the tower of Seliron, its crimson spire rising high into the sky as if to challenge the Gods instead of respect them as all are commanded."

Murdach says, "With perhaps the blessings of the Gods themselves, Rashem was able to pass through the magickal wards upon the tower and climbed it, level after daunting level, until he reached the very top, Seliron's personal study."

Murdach says, "Quietly, with the stealth learned from his days as one of the Players, he snuck into the study where Seliron was quietly looking over his books."

Murdach says, "There, tied to a chair in the corner, a sight that nearly took his breath away, was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen, the Drag-al'ess Fransisca sat before him."

Murdach says, "The only thing between he and the one he knew he was born to love was Seliron, his deep black robes swirling about him like the shadows trying to hide one of their own."

Murdach says, "Suddenly, unexpectedly, Seliron stood and began to speak...."Drag-al, he said, I sense you in the darkness. The stench of your goodness is overwhelming, and only with your death and the smell of burnt flesh will the smell be cleaned from this room"

Murdach exclaims, "Rashem leapt to his feet and ran towards the door, escape! His mind cried, but his feet would have none of it, and he tripped and fell as a ball of fire exploded above his head, charring his thick skin."

Murdach says, "Slowly he crawled along the floor, hoping, praying he might find escape from death. Again and again fire exploded around him, burning his face and body, charring his skin, literally cooking poor Rashem alive."

Murdach says, "The beauty of Fransisca in the corner the only thing keeping him going as he stared at her while trying to make his frantic escape."

Murdach says, "And then suddenly, he knew, when a tear trickled down her beautiful face, that flight was out of the question. Instantly he turned upon Seliron, throwing him off guard and causing his spell to fail."

Murdach says, "Instantly Rashem was upon him, Seliron could not fight back, his spells all a clutter in his mind, none of them coming at his call, as the confusion caused by the fury of the sudden attack had left his mind in turmoil."

Murdach says, "With strength granted by the Goddess of love herself, Rashem lifted Seliron aloft into the air and threw him from the balcony of the study. His black robes whipping around his form as he disappeared far below, bouncing down the cliff face."

Murdach says, "To his lady, he turned. His body burnt, his form crippled, little remained of the Drag-al who began the quest to find her years ago, little but the heart, which was bigger now than ever, fully devoted to her beauty."

Murdach says, "And she, seeing the love in his eyes, and feeling its fury touch her own soul, wept tears of joy as she knew she had found her lifemate."

Murdach says, "Quickly he freed her from her bonds, and in the center of the study they stood embracing one another, with love the likes the world was rarely seen."

Greolin says to Murdach, "Wow what a wonderful adventure"

Murdach says to Greolin, "It's one of my favorite stories."

Greolin asks Murdach, "Where were you though?"

Murdach says to Greolin, "Watching my good man, watching."

Greolin asks Murdach, "So you don't have to be the one having the adventure to have an adventure?"

Murdach says to Greolin, "Some adventurers are better witnessed then lived, my people always say."

Greolin says to Murdach, "And my people say some adventures are best listened to over ale than lived"

Murdach exclaims, "I'm afraid my good man I must be off! Adventure calls, the wanderlust has taken hold and to its call I must respond!!"

Murdach exclaims to Greolin, "Your people are fine people indeed then!"

Murdach exclaims, "I thank you for listening to my stories!"

Greolin says to Murdach, "Well thank you for taking time out of your adventuring"

Murdach exclaims, "Indeed!"

Greolin says, "Was most interesting"

Greolin says, "Was almost an adventure in itself"

Murdach says to Greolin, "I say, if you ever stumble across those two Drag-al's, you make sure to tell them Murdach the Mysterious says hello, they'll know who I am."

Greolin says to Murdach, "Will do"

At this point Murdach suddenly exploded into a thousand tiny shards of light and vanished.

Well that certainly was a fun and enlightening experience. I still don't know how sane Murdach is but he sure can keep someone interested in what he's saying. I leave it up to you, the reader, to decide whether he is off his rocker or not.